Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
