The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
