STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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