I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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