Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize