the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
