we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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