soooo we both peed the bed last night...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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