Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
