i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
