what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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