I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
