Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
