Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize