I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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