When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize