the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Randomize
