I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
