words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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