me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
