STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
