"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
