i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
