Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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