I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
