Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
please come you make the beer taste better
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
