Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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