There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
