quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
