she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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