Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
