Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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