Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.

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  (305): alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog. http://tfl.nu/iy0a
  Replies (15) Good night (1169) Bad night (3258)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.

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  (919): The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day. http://tfl.nu/2twt
  Replies (38) Good night (17431) Bad night (1621)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial

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  (757): this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial http://tfl.nu/3bm0
  Replies (11) Good night (667) Bad night (3822)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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  (813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir
  Replies (13) Good night (5474) Bad night (607)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

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  (250): I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA http://tfl.nu/zqva
  Replies (38) Good night (6223) Bad night (737)
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  (585): View more from New York

  please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

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  (585): please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad. http://tfl.nu/8fn1
  Replies (68) Good night (12061) Bad night (2895)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.

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  (231): Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward. http://tfl.nu/juz7
  Replies (18) Good night (7217) Bad night (1960)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.

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  (608): you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude. http://tfl.nu/1uv4
  Replies (5) Good night (2466) Bad night (848)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP

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  (604): Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP http://tfl.nu/30gs
  Replies (6) Good night (3343) Bad night (844)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?

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  (530): I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster? http://tfl.nu/nheu
  Replies (34) Good night (627) Bad night (4094)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.

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  (740): Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked. http://tfl.nu/voiu
  Replies (4) Good night (1136) Bad night (475)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.

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  (941): We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go. http://tfl.nu/o8qv
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (253)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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  (520): So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational http://tfl.nu/op3j
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (401)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"

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  (215): Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?" http://tfl.nu/i6qx
  Replies (2) Good night (725) Bad night (253)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.

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  (401): Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week. http://tfl.nu/pyo5
  Replies (4) Good night (230) Bad night (484)

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