Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I can't watch pbs sober anymore

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.

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(514): View more from Quebec

you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.

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(760): View more from California

genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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(775): View more from Nevada

This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.

(1-775): View more from Nevada

Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!

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(815): View more from Illinois

There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?

(312): View more from Illinois

Best not to. Some people need their delusions.

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(815): View more from Illinois

We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.

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