I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.