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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.

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• (925): View more from California

  Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up

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• (626): View more from California

  Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?

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