The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
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I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
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It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.