i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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