drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
