the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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