is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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