Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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