Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Green mimosas i think yes
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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