You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
