Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
