He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
