she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
