are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
