I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
