Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
