I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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