Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
