i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Watching her eat just hurts me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
