Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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