and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize