Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
