as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What drink are we having for lunch?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
