We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
