I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
