Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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