Only a mothe r could love this liver
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
