i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
