I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
