? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
