were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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