covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
