I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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