how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Your penis caused this!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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