That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
