the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
