how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
