i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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